Rules for Long Distance Relationships

Once again – by no means exhaustive, nor authoritative…a couple of things I’ve learned…

1.    Have a routine time you talk on the phone every day
2.    Talk every day
3.    Don’t argue via email or text message
4.    Try to see them in person on every occasion possible
5.    If you do argue with them, make sure before you go to sleep, you have committed to solving the problem with them.  This is often difficult, but it is extremely important.
6.    Try to say “no” as little as possible.
7.    Don’t try to multitask while talking to them
8.    Go somewhere with good reception to talk to them…dropped calls get bothersome
9.    Don’t monopolize their time.
10.    Don’t begrudge them time with friends or time at work
11.     Try to spend as much time as possible with them on the phone…
12.    Make sacrifices

Rules for Interracial Dating

By no means exhaustive nor authoritative…just might help though

1.    Don’t try to explain your race as if it’s one monolithic block…because it isn’t

2.    Don’t make excuses for your partner’s ignorance of things from your culture…there was nothing malicious
3.    Don’t get offended if your partner sees something differently – but don’t necessarily feel the need to agree with their viewpoint…
4.    Don’t try to understand your partner’s behavior in the context of their race – he or she is probably different than most other (insert race/ethnicity/nationality here) people you know in a myriad of ways.
5.    If they ask you something that seems stereotypical, don’t take offense, they are asking you, not making assumptions.
6.    If you ask your partner something that could be construed as stereotypical, and they take offense, tell them you were asking, not assuming.
7.    Don’t make assumptions based on your partner’s race.
8.    Make sure you aren’t attracted to them solely because of their race
9.    Do not let others call your identity into question because of whom you date.  Stand up for your partner, and stand up for yourself as a person.
10.     Do not belittle their struggles or difficulties – they are just as real as yours, even if you wish you had them…demand the same thing from them.