Straight Edge!!

So I’ve got an update – after YEARS of dealing with ingrown hairs while shaving I’ve figured out something that works for me.  I recently decided to a) give my skin a rest by not shaving for sometime, choosing instead to religiously wash and moisturize my face, and b) to use a straight edge razor to shave.  I think I went about 4 or 5 weeks without shaving and today I took the razor to my face.

Now, I should be more specific about the shaving regimen I adopted.  I shower, washing my face while in the shower.  Towel off outside the shower, and immediately throw on some preshave oil to coat the beard.  Then I use a badger hair brush to lather up my face with shave soap.  Then I shave with my straight edge razor.  I try not to shave against the grain – if I need to get a closer shave on a particular area, I go at a 45 degree angle to the first stroke.  This last part is a bit tricky since my facial hair seems to grow in a million different directions.  The other thing I did, was if I missed a particular part, I just lathered it back up.  After finishing the shave, I rinsed my face with lukewarm water, and then put on a really nice aftershave balm.  It took about 15 minutes to shave, but a) my face feels amazing and b) all of the hyperpigmented spots that I had from ingrown hairs being pulled out of my face have faded considerably.

Something else that I learned and have been practicing as much as possible – during the time I grew my beard out – I would occasionally brush it, and if I found an ingrown hair, I would lift it out of the skin, but I would not pull it out of its’ root.  Apparently pulling an ingrown hair out of its’ root only damages the root, which causes the hair to grow back curlier, and usually with a huge kink which means the next time it grows you may not even get a chance to see the hair before it blows up inside of your face.

For the people who actually know me – this is a HUGE victory for me.  I feel like I discovered the cure to some crazy disease, even though I didn’t.  So yeah, straight edge for me is definitely the way to go.  For anyone out there still having difficulty, good luck!!!

The Great Shave

Let me suggest a few things for those who get ingrown hairs easily

1) DO NOT pull them out – lift them out gently, but leave the hair inside the follicle. Since I stopped doing this, I stopped getting as many gnarly ingrowns.

2) Wash your face at least twice daily – this prevents pores from getting clogged. It also keeps your face moisturized.

3) Shave every other day – and when you do – shave with the grain…if you feel the need to get an even closer shave – shave at a 45 degree angle to the first stroke. What ever you do, don’t shave against the grain…it’s only an invitation for your face to full out revolt.

4) Use an EXTREMELY sharp razor…something like this…seriously Jennifer…my birthday is coming up soon…

5) Use a pre-shave oil…it seems silly, it helps

6) Get a splash of cool water after rinsing your face off…again, it helps

7) Only shave after washing your face in a hot shower…

It seems silly, but use a cheap, unused toothbrush to gently exfoliate your skin – it helps lift ingrown hairs out of your skin, and it helps keep your skin exfoliated, which helps those hairs that are trying to do the wrong thing do the right thing…

9) Use some type of face moisturizer religiously – it pays off…

Scrotum

Yes…that’s the title of this blog.  The other day I had the misfortune of cutting into one.  My poor cadaver.  I felt as if with every snip of the scissors I was violating inalienable man law.  The largest unspoken rule out there: you don’t cut another man’s scrotum…EVER.   We had to cut into the scrotum, then pull the testicles and all of the “plumbing” so to speak out of there.  The ladies gave it short shrift, deciding to go at it with gusto – yanking and firmly tugging in a way that made my own family jewels worry if they were next.  The girls had strange, self satisfied looks on their faces – as if it was always an underlying dream to eviscerate a man’s cohones.  I cringed at every snip, yank, scrape, tug, and jab of the fingers…and yes – they were ALL involved…I was surprised at how much plumbing there is.  Each guy has two huge loops that go from his testicles into his abdomen and then back down and out – into the urethra.  There is a ton of tubing, lots of muscles, a couple of glands, and then…a penis…Rumor has it we are going to have to cut that too…down the middle…I don’t really want to…No, let me rephrase that – I REALLY DONT WANT TO…

Ridiculous Video…

Pimpin in the motherland…

Maybe my theme song should be ‘Random’

This isn’t a post about anything except for moisturizers. Well, moisturizers and their effect on the black man’s skin. I know that seems like a very silly sort of post, almost like setting the stage for a Malcolm X type rant about how the white man has oppressed the black man by limiting his choice of moisturizer. But I guess I just want to detail why moisturizing one’s skin in a non-comedogenic (not pore clogging way) is important for black men. If you are a black man who has somehow stumbled across this post – you are probably aware of ingrown hairs in a way that very few others are. They seem to colonize your face, somehow there are always new and deeper ingrown hairs – oftentimes in places that you’ve liberated multiple times. I’ve pulled ingrown hairs from the same exact place over and over and over. I learned some new things. First – you should lift ingrown hairs out of your skin – but you shouldn’t tweeze them if you can avoid it – plucking the little buggers apparently makes them grow back even more deranged than they did originally. Part of this is because plucking hairs damages them and causes them to grow even curlier and more horizontal in orientation to your skin. Second – moisturization helps them to grow out of the skin naturally and then you can shave them and they will tend to grow straighter, because you are actually shaving the damaged part of the hair off, allowing the part that wants to grow straight to do exactly that. Third – More blades does NOT equal more comfort – it equals more discomfort and more purchases of “skin calming” products. You’ve actually shaved the hairs off with the first blade – all the second through fifth battery powered blades happen to do is rip skin cells off of your face. Exfoliation by blade they call it. So the lesson? Get a straight edge razor or a safety razor and use that…it helps a lot. Fourth – Perhaps one of the most important as well – since moisture is SO important in keeping ingrown hairs in check, skin care products with alcohol (read: most cheap aftershaves) will only damage your skin by drying it out and starting inflammatory cascades within it. You don’t get rid of you ingrown hairs by being harsh to your skin – you get rid of them by being gentle…Very, very gentle…Fifth – Use a badger hair brush and pre-shave oil with your shave cream (shouldn’t be canned gel, remember, no alcohol), it will prepare your skin for a shave much better than the canned death that you probably are tempted to use…I’ve been living by this philosophy for two or three days now, and I ALREADY notice a huge difference, my face doesn’t hurt, the hair growing out is growing much straighter and at a better angle, and my skin feels much firmer and …(wait for it) moister… Now, then – black men – men with curly hair, men who have problems with ingrown hairs – go buy yourself a straight edge razor, a badger brush, some good shave cream, preshave oil, and a nice aftershave balm. Use them. Keep your face well moisturized. It pays off…

Oh yeah, teach this to your sons, cousins, nephews, brothers, and all the young ones too…