We live in a time of extreme frustration, anguish, and uncertainty.
There are worries about the wars both at home and abroad – wars against drugs, class wars, Israel vs. Gaza and its’ ridiculously global (not just regional) implications, Congo, Darfur, Iraq/Afghanistan. There are worries about these conflicts morphing into a super war.
There are worries about a nuclear Iran, a decimated Palestine, a second Great Depression. The democratization of media and access to information has done a great deal to truly highlight the actual world we are living in, and that’s great – but it’s getting more and more difficult to live in a happy little deluded bubble these days…
Then there are more pedestrian worries –
Daily – I kid you not – daily, I worry about my career. Worry that I’m not doing enough to further it, worry that I’m shortchanging myself by not being uber-type A in the classroom. Worry that I should be focused on rote memorization and not on actual understanding.
Occasionally, I get to talk to someone with a little more perspective. Someone whose seen and done things that I have yet to within the medical world Someone who understands the relative worth of a kidney quiz in the grand scheme of medical education.
But that only happens occasionally. Most of the people who are supposed to be good at assuaging fears and keeping people focused in the right direction and on track aren’t really very helpful…at least not in my book. In fact, some of them enjoy seeing you wallow…in the mud…and rain…
There’s the stress of studying for your boards, feeling like your career is going to come down to a three digit number. Hoping that the day of the exam your efforts to study don’t disappoint you – a dull thud in your soul telling you that you’ve been tricked. Hoping that somehow you can manage to be “above average” or even “excellent” in the midst of a billion other smart medical students…
Meanwhile, that stress is compounded with what’s happening in our world. There are the requisite anxieties about the economy – hoping already crumbling hospitals don’t cut residency spots, hope residency spots can somehow figure out a way to pay barely above minimum wage (45,000 per year / 80 hr. work weeks = $10.81/hr)…
Worrying about where my residency will actually even be – hoping it’s not in the middle of Nebraska (no offense to Nebraska, I’ve just never really been to the midwest and don’t want to stick my toe in the pool with a 5 year move)…actually hoping I match in the first place…
Worries about residency itself and balancing a family with the insane work hours – wondering how juggling both a family and a demanding career will affect both my family life and performance at the hospital.
There’s also the anxieties about student loans – paying them back after they’ve gotten a chance to mature and collect some momentum (in the form of rampant interest) while helping to support a family on $45,000 a year.
Hoping I can manage to buy my lady and “potential” kids some shoes…and some rice…
Worries about what medicine will be like when I come out the other side – hoping it’ll still be lucrative enough that I’m somewhat comfortable… Able to at least buy a house and send my kids to college. Maybe go on some family vacations and send the buggers off to camp. Hopefully donate heavily to some charities and non-profits…
Worries about getting diabetes or cancer…about having a heart attack… Hoping the persistent pain in my back isn’t arthritis…or cancer…
Then there are stupid worries…
Worries about ingrown hairs, shaving, getting fat and weak…and yes the scourge of many a man – balding. I’m not only balding at what feels like a breakneck pace, I’m also popping up with new ingrown hairs at a breakneck pace, and my body doesn’t quite metabolize an entire box of cereal like it used to… Hoping I can adjust to the loss of a certain amount of my youth – in a graceful and vital way…
Is it any wonder that when we see good news – like the story of flight 1549, “Miracle on the Hudson” – or when our team wins the Super Bowl, is it any wonder that we keep on watching?
Is it any wonder that Facebook is so popular – such a time sink? People are able to actually chat with their friends, and not focus on the source of their worries…procrastination these days is akin to digitally sticking your head in the sand…
Which isn’t so wrong right? It’s just not as productive as we might hope to be. Is there an optimistic version of the real world? Something like facebook that just makes everything seem easier?
Can’t Obama make it all happy again?
Cmon…
perhaps people just need to channel their worries into a productive way. and instead of viewing worries in such a negative light, to see it instead as a way to progress and move forward.
at any rate, worrying is a first step. you wouldnt want to sit around thinking everything is peachy keen when it really is not after all.