Focus on Progress – Terroncito is Entropy

5 01 2009

I already know I’m too fly…

Unfortunately, the rest of world doesn’t quite know yet. So it’s my job to prove it to the world. Earlier today I posted a synopsis (yes a synopsis) of my career/activity aspirations. Things like “rappel into lair of bad guys, shooting and yelling”, “fly a C17″ were thrown around…

ASIDE:
This is a poser: “I fly a C-17…it’s just that raw actually…but, you know, I care about the environment so I buy carbon offsets for it…which ends up being a few grand per flight, but you know, I’m a hustla so…”

Anyways, I’m back to the task at hand – talking about focus and progress…It’s progress for me to write daily. It provides an outlet for the thoughts that would otherwise build up and begin to pressurize my sensorium as I go through my daily routine. So my focus on progress has to include my thoughts, both good and bad, both well-connected and illogical. My focus on progress is more about chi and finding good ways to allow all of my mental energy to flow harmoniously.

Lest I sound like a complete hippie, let me also tie my resolutions to some concrete goals. In order to progress and focus – I need to create an environment conducive to that goal. Which requires a great deal of…consolidation.

I’ve fallen into a trap of consumerism – buying things to make me someone whom I’d like to be, instead of being who I am and liking it. Not to say that I am comfortable liking myself, but realizing the reason for many of my purchases, many of the purchases that complicate my life and clutter my supposedly academic milieu, is necessary to moving myself in a direction that is consistent with what I want to do.

I want to study uninhibited by visual or mental distractions. I want to read and review in a well-lit, quiet, engaging atmosphere. I want to look around and see a comfortable, retreat-like environment where reading is encouraged over napping. Currently, my environment is so over-exciting that I often tend to nap in order to escape the pressure of taming the relentless entropy that is my room.

So what does taming that entropy require?

First, it requires getting rid of massive amounts of paper. MASSIVE amounts of paper. Mostly because I’m paranoid about releasing anything that has my name and address or any type of account number on it. I’ve also proven to be paranoid about getting rid of school notes from the last year and a half.

Fortunately, I’m beginning to come to my senses. In order to learn medicine, I have to teach myself. My medical textbooks are a great way to teach myself. The lecture note packets that I have are seminally useless…they seed a certain despair which my thumbed through, highlighted, reviewed textbooks do not. Having given up designs on being an honors medical student, I’m free to construct my immediate environs in such a way that will, ironically, allow me to study in a manner conducive to receiving honors. Or moving out of my apartment quicker.

That is what my desired changes in my room also should move me towards. They should move me towards a greater mobility. Not only in a cerebral, symbolic sense- as I’m empowered to move my mind in more agile, nimble ways because I’m more focused – but also in a literal sense. I can pack my shit and go.

For some reason, I’ve been feeling the need to lighten myself, pare myself down to a dense, solidified core. Some psychological need to be able to escape. The world has become a pressure cooker and I’d like to be able to wander freely, while still being happy.

So onwards I march towards a simplicity that has alluded me for a little more than 27 years. I’ve got cluttered genes, with both my mother and father haven fallen victim to room clutter, but they also both have had a powerful need for organization in their lives. I’m feeling the same thing – seemingly equally as powerful, and it’s my time to develop a sense of comfort without physical things, because these physical things that we keep hold us back. They are literal and figurative weight.

It makes me wish more books were online. More books were in the form of PDFs. More texts digitally accessible, able to be highlighted, marked up, annotated, and commented. It would be a boon to my progress, because while I do indeed enjoy collecting books, I’d just as soon collect music and movies in place of the books, because they only reason I cherish their physical presence is that it makes them easier to read – although there is certainly a technological substitute for that – it’s called an Amazon Kindle…

So, bring on the color Kindle. Bring on the little digital stylus that can be used to highlight as well as scribble annotations. Wifi updates allowing me to track everything I’ve ever read, a personal bibliography that fits in my palm. Fits in my backpack, alllows me to purchase books from wherever I am. That would just beat all…

If publishers really wanted to succeed in the business of literaure, they’d succeed in making the Kindle and its’ ilk completely capable of replacing the milieu of a good book. Both for pleasurable reading, but also for study reading. I’ve got some ideas on how they could do that…
But then again, that would require me splitting my focus from reading for school, writing for my blog, and cleaning my room in order to line up with some “flight pattern” of expectations that I’ve established for my version of adulthood and life in general.

It’s now time for me to get to the business of clearing, not cleaning my room. I need an oversized garbage/recycling bin…that and a shredder…





I wanna I wanna…

5 01 2009

I’ve been thinking recently about the things that I’ve wanted to do for some time.

I’ve got a stable list of things – many of them professions – that I’ve wanted to engage in regularly for at least 3-5 years. They range from white to blue collar. They range from requiring multiple degrees and certifications to primarilyrequiring a driver’s license, a strong back, and a willingness to listen.

Construction: For several years now, the allure of swinging a hammer and actually building homes has held a definite appeal in my mind. It’s the idea of creating something with a lasting benefit, something tangible that you can look at day-in and day-out. It also may have been a lucrative field – especially since I already had a job with benefits and great hours/pay.

Writing: Hell, right now i’m writing and I’m enjoying it. For sometime now I’ve wanted to describe, create, and give life to complicated, tragically funny, human, and sometimes inhuman characters. I’ve wanted to, again, be creative and craft mysteries and viewpoints that aren’t necessarily commonly held. Unfortunately, I don’t READ enough literature, and haven’t read nearly enough literature to be the amazing writer that I want to be.

Surgeon: I’m on my way. It’s a craft, a certain creativity, another profession with a tangible pursuit – although one that is somewhat more visceral than palpable. I like the combination of detective work and the butchery of it all. I like the hand-eye coordination. I like the technical proficiency, the detail, the creativity (although limited – see below) of it. I like the opportunity to definitively correct pathology, and I like the pressure of it. Ultimately I also like the idea of being more likely to work, medically, with those who acutely need good physicians and are the most unlikely to be able to identify with physicians…I also love the idea of working with my hands. The drawback is how much it seems to interfere with the rest of ones’ life. Which is unfortunate to say the least…

SWAT Team Member: Forgive me if my “adventure spirit” aka. testosterone occasionally gets the better of my judgement and conscience – all I can say is rapelling into a building, smashing windows out, and shooting a gun while yelling/screaming at “bad guys” does still hold some cachet in my brain – even if higher parts of me realize the sophomoric nature of it all… Unfortunately the whole, “being a cop” thing sort of bugs me about it though…

Adventure Athlete / Mountain Climber: Believe it or not, i like trail running – something I discovered when me and Jenn were bombing down a trail on Mt. Si a few years back. I also like the combination of technical proficiency, and the opportunity to be outdoors. Again, the use of ones’ body in the profession is a plus as well. God gave us arms and legs to walk, push, pull, and kick every day….If God wanted us to sit on our ass all day he at the least wouldn’t have given us legs…

Musician: The idea of sitting down every day, notebook in hand, guitar in hand, wearing sunglasses and something awfully rockstar funky, does hold a great amount of appeal. Playing over and over, riff after riff, practicing the craft until I’ve reached a level of technical mastery that seems to be unparalleled is really cool. That passion is something that will help me to become an amazing surgeon – but damn it would be cool to do with music as well…again the creative freedom that music allows is something that I find unique…to my knowledge, no fields offer the same level of expressive freedom as music – you can be very creative in construction, but it’s useless if the building doesn’t remain standing when it rains. You can be creative in surgery every once in a while, but if your patients die, they’ll ask questions…and you’ll have to answer them…Creativity on a SWAT team doesn’t really tend to go over so well “so this time guys, I’m thinking I’m gonna flip a coin before I rappel into the window and if it’s heads – I shoot the bad guys, tails I shoot the person I like least in the room…which isn’t necessarily the bad guy.”

Engineer/Designer: I definitely appreciate good design, and again the creative aspect of the profession combined with the technical proficiency needed to create something useful that won’t fall apart or break when its’ needed the most. I think a lack of true engineering is what has led to our countries’ auto company crisis. I think a lack of true engineering is why our transportation systems are quickly choking and dying. I think a lack of true engineering is why we haven’t figured out more energy efficient solutions to making durable goods easily recycled/repurposed; heating, cooling, and lighting our homes; driving our cars; flying airplanes around; and moving heavy (which if better engineered could be light) freight around. Coupled with a positive aesthetic, good well-engineered stuff

Physicist: String theory is cool. Quarks are exciting. The freedom to be a complete nerd, live in Europe (likely Switzerland), and be on the cutting edge of a whole bunch of things is intriguing. Too bad I’m likely not smart enough to do it…

Economist: The economic choices that our governments, corporations, and people make are interesting to me and I think that many of Western societies ills stem from inappropriate allocation of resources as well as inaccurate valuations of products, processes, assets, and liabilities, whether those be cars, waste treatment, people, homes, transportation options, prisons, police, or schools. Second to being a teacher, I think being an economist could fulfill a cerebral need of mine to truly, contribute to society and make an honest try to make the world a better place for everyone.

Lawyer: I like the idea of being a lawyer in a theoretical way only. Lawyers are perhaps those best equipped to handle themselves in our world, mostly due to their understanding of the legal basis by which our world works, as well as the pitfalls and holes that society, as a body of law, has in its’ fabric. Ultimately, at the very least the only thing you can rely upon somewhat is law. If you don’t know it – you don’t really know where you stand. Which is very unfortunate. Why only theoretical as opposed to in practice? Sitting down all day = no deal. I’d go nuts on day three. Suit and tie is okay a couple days a week, but isn’t there something to work on with my hands?

Landscape Architect/Farmer: I like plants. I like the idea of building something – again tangible. Using your body to do it. I like the idea of growing your own food – this was something brought home to me by reading the book the Omnivore’s Dilemma. I say landscape architect/farmer because if I could, I’d re-plant most of urban/suburban America’s boring lawns with self-sustaining gardens that would feed families and their neighbors. I’d allow people to be their own mini-serfdoms, where families could all pitch in and farm one home a week and have a huge bountiful harvest. Ultimately, reclaiming perfectly good, arable land from the chemicals and gunk that goes into “lawns” would prove healthy for our environment, as well as appealing to the eye and palate/stomach. Fresh corn, yams, tomatoes and spinach taste unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I’d like my kids to know that taste.

Football/Rugby/Hockey: Speed, violence, working with your body, emotion, character, racing to catch your thoughts and your breath. Technical mastery, skill, agility, camraderie, and adrenaline all enter into these sports. The ability to be outdoors often (in all except hockey) holds a great deal of appeal as well. The strategic aspect of the games is enticing. Unfortunately, I have a difficult time feeling like it matters much. It could be different if it was tied to society in some meaningful way – like the winners of a particular team got to vote for a certain charity to be funded or something – but there’s really nothing at all on the line other than a “ring” which honestly – I don’t wear jewelry…

Track and Field / Speed Skating / Race Car Driving: It’s the idea of speed. Speed is very seductive to me. I like to drive fast. I love to run. Speed skating enters the equation because it is sprinting on ice. And god does it look fun. Especially the crashes and corners. The adrenaline in these sports must be sky-high. Again though, it just doesn’t seem like there is much you’d leave behind in terms of tangible accomplishments…

Soldier: Theoretically, being a soldier could be a very cool thing to do. I certainly respect the hell out of soldiers’ for being soliders, but I don’t necessarily respect what the military does. I understand that being a soldier requires two entirely different psychologies, and the ability to nimbly switch between the two personas – much like violent athletics actually – and that problems in a soldiers’ life arise when the two personalities are required to be around simultaneously… In a sense, I think that being a soldier is closer to the truth than at any other moment in one’s life. That is of course an uneducated musing from someone who is NOT a soldier. But there is excitement inherent in being a soldier – gunfire, running, screaming at innocent people to duck, shooting at people, fighting – exorcising the pent-up frustrations and day-to-day anger that “society” promulgates – for ones’ own sanity and clarity, and feeling like you are on the side of principle. Not just an empty vessel of consumerism…Or maybe it’s way less cerebral and much more about the discipline, camraderie, and surge of power and adrenaline that one feels when they shoot guns in teams, and call for their side to rain fire and destruction down on the other side. The only problem I’ve got with it is the idea of being made to kill someone…because of a lack of political will to deal with things in other, nonlethal ways…

Pilot: Again the speed thing is pretty alluring. You essentially strap yourself to the front of a bullet with two or four jet engines (read: mini-rockets) and you hurtle down a straightaway until the damned thing starts to lift off. Once you are at cruising altitude and speed you just watch the skies and talk to air traffic control to make sure you don’t hit someone else who is doing the same exact thing as you. The freedom to travel and see multiple places is cool. The technical proficiency is cool. The nomadic existence, living in hotels all the time is not. Also pilots don’t necessarily get to poke around in the cities that they fly to – they’ve got to sleep and get ready for their next flight oftentimes. All that said, I would absolutely LOOOVE to fly a large jet – not a Boeing 737 or anything like that – I’m thinking of a plane the size of a Lockheed C-5 or C-17…one with the wingtips that look tiny, but are actually 9 feet tall…I have to admit I wish there was a way to fly an airplane and not emit massive amounts of carbon…I also wish there was a way to do that without working for the military OR commercial airlines, both unappealing employers to say the least.

Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer: You get paid. To jump out of helicopters into pitching and rolling 40 foot seas. Swim to a person who is cold, tired, and likely slowly drowning. Put a harness on them – and then haul their asses out of the water…back into the perfectly good helicopter you jumped out of. You then take care of them while that helicopter hauls ass to the mainland…can you say adrenaline?

High School Teacher / Professor: I can think of no other job more important to society than that of a teacher. It is unfortunate however, that our teachers aren’t the ones held in the highest regard – our teachers are barely paid a living wage, and they are consistently underequipped in terms of learning materials

Dancer: Much like being a musician, being a dancer allows a great deal of creative flexibility, and it also allows you to work with your body. There is a certain adrenaline that goes with performing, and you get to listen to music all day long – although it’s probably the same music, all day long. Unfortunately, the pay sucks and the vicious nature of the business isn’t all that appealing.





Dreams a.k.a. intrinsic distractions

5 01 2009

I read magazines.

Mostly because they trigger my dreams. They trigger my aspirations. They trigger my wants… My hopes…

I’d like to build things that challenge our current ideas about whats correct in the built environment. I saw a flat-roofed monolithic home located in Sweden in the middle of the latest issue of Dwell magazine. It sits in a prairie, ringed by low, sparsely flowered shrubs and tall pine trees. It is a monument to glass and concrete, juxtaposing a concrete slab roof and floor/foundation with crystal clear glass walls.

It sparked something for me.

Although the house was large I could instantly see it as a treehouse. I could see several of these structures, some made to appear cubic, hanging effortlessly from trees – connected by small skybridges…a modernist version of Swiss Family Robinson…

I thought about the roofs of these homes, they could be gently sloped food gardens, irrigated by rain water or mist. The “floors” appearing to hang, housing infinity edged pools for people to swim in. Decks with easy to manicure grasses could provide a space to recreate, listen to music, barbecue, or lie in a cool breeze. The vertical edges of the decks could provide space for landscaped plantings to both hang and project outwardly – the plants could provide a counterpoint, both contributing to a natural aesthetic, but also providing privacy – dampening noise and obscuring visual lines of sight.

Where plants wouldn’t provide an adequate blockage of visual/auditory sightlines, screens made of an opaque material that absorb sound could be strategically hung. They could grow moss and vines, and would provide both shade, additional privacy, and could solidify the green aesthetic.

Where would these homes go? In the middle of a greenbelt – in an area where native species could live on the ground.

What’s the benefit of placing the homes “in the trees”? Why such an unconventional use of space? How would it work?

Well, first, by placing the homes in the trees, a fundamental goal of the project is realized – more greenspace for people inhabiting the homes. There are additional benefits – reduced noise and light pollution due to the sound and light dampening properties of the tree foliage. The susceptibility of the home to wind/storm damage is minimized by trees on the outside of the “neighborhood” serving as a buffer to the elements. The issue of property drainage and land erosion is negated by leaving more land in a forested state than otherwise possible – having the trees around keeps the land adequately drained in the event of a major storm. Leaving the home in the air also clears the ground for more ecologically friendly uses – and removes a large heat sink from the home – the ground…This should make the home easier to heat in the winter time. By designing the home to be passively cooled, the energy savings should be impressive.

By keeping the size of the homes to a comfortable minimum, a good number of homes can occupy a small plot of land, with a minimum of land paved over. The unpaved land can be used in a variety of ways – as space for gardens, agriculture, habitat for small animals…The unpaved land can be partially cleared, and planted with hardy grasses to allow cars or bicycles a closer approach to the homes, although maintaining normal parking a moderate distance away encourages families to walk a short distance twice daily. Finally, by maintaining the land the way nature intended it, minimizes impacts and actually makes the home a more integral part of the landscape.

Instead of using the trees as the foundation for the homes, I would utilize concrete pillars, that resemble trees, and utilize “cut-throughs” of the homes to accommodate trees into the design of the home. The pillars would be reinforced concrete tubes lined with steel and carbon fiber, sunk into the ground on a footing – the lumen of each tube would serve as a conduit for utilities – water, electricity, cable, phone, sewage – although many of the utilities would be self-generated or collected on-site.

Something that at first might seem like a drawback of the project – the small house size – would later emerge as a benefit – the small house size makes the homes easier to heat and cool and ultimately more efficient. In addition, the homes being elevated helps to keep ground pests out of them. The long walk from the ground – via bridges to the homes would serve as ample points for pest control – allowing rats and mice to be trapped and released elsewhere…

Garbage and recycling collection could be done at central sites – with garbage and recycling being treated as a sort of dry-sewage – being disposed of via shredding and pressurized air blowing it through tubes to a central processing facility where it could be baled and disposed of…

I estimate that these homes would be more expensive to build than normal – although the extra expense would be passed on in terms of long-term savings to operate and maintain the home. In addition, the opportunity to live in an idyllic park-like setting would be unparalleled and very intriguing. Finally, the homes although more expensive could serve as a testbed of simple low-tech solutions to common problems (heating, cooling, electricity, water, sewage) that afflict poor tenants and homeowners in rural housing. The expertise gained in designing and building “homes that float in the sky” could be passed down to volunteers who work to build low-cost tree-housing developments in rural communities.

This is why I have a difficult time studying medicine…not enough dreaming to do just yet…





Kudos from a virginal insomniac

5 01 2009

Insomnia has struck…in an effort to be “productive” I’ve decided to review thoughts from the past weeks in search of something memorable to write…here is what I managed to find:

“Kudos to Coca-Cola for advertising “Eco-Facts” during the pre-preview slide shows at movie theatres…now if they’d just stop using high fructose corn syrup in their delicious, deadly beverages…”





Message/Comment Boards

5 01 2009

I’ve identified them as a major waste of my time. I’m sick of reading other “regular” people’s comments – they are honestly pretty god awful…and they are a waste of time. I mean it…I’ve wasted HOURS of my time – yes, I’m aware that this says something about me…

I’m changing it…now…





Collections

5 01 2009

I’ve been thinking about the implications of my new years resolution – now for a few days. A major branch of my resolution involves a good degree of focus – and I’ve realized that in order to achieve focus I need to find a way to remove as much of the material that composes the fabric of my environment. In other words, I’m attempting to lose weight in life, and I’m still walking around in the fat clothes – In order to keep the weight off, I need to have skinny clothes…

This is a tricky proposition for me. I’m interesting in everything. Books, music, trinkets, architecture, film, clothes, shoes, cooking, design, ties, cufflinks, electronics, and plants. In my current space I have all of the above – and I need to not have as much stuff.

I’ve been looking at getting some new books, and some new music. I’m wondering if what I need to do is to visit the library – or if collecting books is something that I can continue to enjoy – afterall it’s something I’ve done since I was a small child…

Conflicted to say the least – it’s made me wonder what it’d be like to live in a sort of communal library – with both music and books galore. Replace bills and receipts with electronic copies. Reduce clutter – utilize what I have to its’ fullest potential…It’s what I’m going to need to do in order to grow in terms of focus…it’s difficult to focus on reading in such a cluttered visual environment…

I’m going to do elective surgery on my belongings. I’m throwing away as much as I can. I’m squeezing as much as I can into as small a space as I can. I’m getting rid of things so that I can enjoy the space I have. I’ve got an hour to do it. Wish me luck…